I am who I think I am

Image by Martin_Heigan via Flickr

There’s always some way I can reinforce the things that matter to me in the universe, and I’m the only one that can do it. And if they don’t accept my praise and rewards, or if it means less to them than it does to me, that’s fine. It still keeps my cares and behaviors consistent with each other. I can look someone, or myself, in the eye and say “I am who I think I am.” - Scott Berkun

To make a difference, you occasionally have to choose a course of action that others may disparage or disagree with. Its a fact of life. Whenever we lift our head out of the sand to stand up for what we believe in we run the risk of someone chopping it off - or thinking we are weak, or silly or just plain out wrong. Its not easy - and its not always a great deal of fun. But ultimately, if we hold back from doing what's right for fear of what other people might think, we are selling ourselves short.

You can't live your life based on other people's perceptions of who you are. It makes you fearful, and fear makes you weak. It means you hand your personal power over to others. It means you will never live up to your potential. It demeans you.

Other people will always have something to say about the choices you make. When you choose to be kind, some people may perceive it as weakness or naivety. When you choose to show gratitude some people may be nonplussed or unappreciative. When you choose to champion a cause some people may think you are an idiot, or a troublemaker. But their perceptions of you are not necessarily reality.

The only person whose opinion should matter to you is YOU! You cannot control the perceptions of others. You are only in control of your actions, your choices. If your life choices are not based on a strong set of core values, then standing your ground in the face of opposition is all but impossible. You become extremely vulnerable and easily swayed. How can you have a positive impact on the world if you are being buffeted to and fro by the storms of public opinion?

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The Best Way to Save the World is to Save Yourself

Image via Wikipedia

The best way to save the world is to save yourself. Sweep your own doorstep. Tend your own garden. Always do what you've agreed to do. Never take anything that's not yours. Be generous, but sceptical, kind, but not naive.
- The Daily Reckoning Australia

Poverty, violence, hunger, war, global warming, religious intolerance, terrorism . . . the problems of the world may seem big, but the solutions to them are small. They start with one person, you. They start with simple actions, the kind of things that you, and I , can do everyday. Grand gestures are exciting, but its the little things that really count. Their effects ripple out from our own lives and make a difference in the lives of others.

1. Put your money where your mouth is
   Live by your values. Its easy to complain, its easy to throw up your arms in horror. But if you want to make a difference you need to have the courage of your convictions and you need to take action. Stand up for what you believe in.
   
   
2. Do less
   Sometimes less really is more. Spend less time talking and more time listening to others. Make a point of consuming less. Use less resources. Drive less and walk or cycle more. Eat less meat. Slow down and enjoy life.
   
   
3. Value the things you have
   Do you really need more Stuff? Do you need a new car, a bigger house, another TV? For many of us more stuff means more debt. And more debt means less time and more stress. Appreciate the things you already have.
   
   
4. Build relationships
   People are more important than things. Really! Make your life's focus more about people and less about Stuff. Cultivate your friendships, treat everyone you meet with respect, be kind.
   
   
5. Share what you have
   If any one thing can make a difference to the world then it has to be generosity. It doesn't have to be on a huge scale - we can't all give like Bill Gates. Be generous with your love, your time, your possessions, your money. Giving generously creates a feeling of abundance. It makes us less afraid of what we might lose, it builds community and connects people, it creates opportunity.
   

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5 Ways to Create Abundance in an Economic Downturn

Image via WikipediaNow, I know its a little early to be thinking of Christmas already, but this evening I was somewhat troubled to hear a national news broadcast trumpeting Christmas Misery ahead for New Zealanders on the back of the decreasing value of the New Zealand Dollar. Apparently we are all doomed to a miserable Christmas because the prices of imported goods are due to rise as our purchasing power diminishes.

Sure, times are tough, the economy is unstable, people are losing their jobs & their homes. Its frightening. However, this kind of foolish media scaremongering really irritates me. It helps the recession take a hold in people's minds by creating a mindset of scarcity and fear. It encourages people to focus on what they don't have, or can't afford rather than encouraging us to be creative with what we do have. It focuses our attention on stuff rather than on people.

Not being able to afford to purchase expensive presents at Christmas time is surely not the most newsworthy aspect of the current economic crisis. In fact, the kind of rampant, foolish consumerism that it represents is part of the cause of our current woes.

Here's a few tips to help you create a mindset of abundance amidst the economic chaos:

1. Decide what is Important
   Take time to think about the things that you value most. Make a list of the 4 or 5 most important things and focus on keeping them in order. Simplifying your life in this way, paring it back to the essentials, helps you to appreciate what you do have and stop striving for stuff that ultimately has no value to you.
   
   
2. Build Community
   Get to know your neighbours, the other parents at your kids school, your work colleagues. Build a network of people that you can share with when the going gets tough. Knowing that you are part of a community that has got your back can definitely help ease the fears brought on by the current economic instability.
   
   Check out 5 Ways to Rebuild your Neighbourhood for community building ideas.
   
   
3. Be Generous
   At times like this its often our natural reaction to hoard - time, money, possessions. But in tough economic times, generosity is more important than ever. Have you ever noticed how the most generous of people never seem to be without the things that really matter?
   
   Read more about how generosity creates abundance at Digital Philanthropy
   
   
4. Appreciate Sufficiency
   It sounds trite, but with our busy lifestyles we often forget to be thankful - taking a moment out of each day to be grateful can help you to realise how much you really have and what is important. Appreciating sufficiency - deciding how much is enough - can help the spectre of recession lose its power to make you fearful.
   
   Read 5 Ways to Help You Say 'Enough' for more inspiration.
   
   
5. Be Proactive
   Don't sit back waiting for this latest economic crisis to make your life difficult. Take positive action now to recession proof your life as much as you are able. Start a vege garden, tackle any consumer debt, work on developing good financial habits, support your local economy, get into the habit of driving your car less . . . be positive and creative as you take stock and prepare for the future.
   

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The American Dream

Image by FotoRita [Allstar maniac] via Flickr

I don't, as a general rule, like to get mired in American politics. But (bet you saw that coming!!), I couldn't help looking up this whole Joe the Plumber saga.

I'm sure there is more to it than this, but what really took my breath away was his comment:

"Its not for the Government to decide I earn a little too much and so I need to share it with other people. That's not the American dream"

Americans seem to have interpreted the American Dream as the individual pursuit of succcess, fame and wealth. And while this has led to Americans (in general) becoming wealthier and better educated than ever, it doesn't seem to have made them happy.

According to Dr. Steve McSwain, that is because the life they really want, the true American Dream, is not in getting, but in giving.

"The happiest and healthiest people are those who have
learned to be extravagantly generous. In an age of unprecedented wealth
and record charitable giving, McSwain makes a compelling argument that
your highest purpose in life is to give yourself away and generously
share your abundance with the world."

Historian and writer James Truslow Adams coined the phrase "American Dream" in his 1931 book Epic of America:

"The American Dream is that dream of a land in which life should be
better and richer and fuller for everyone, with opportunity for each
according to ability or achievement. It is a difficult dream for the
European upper classes to interpret adequately, and too many of us
ourselves have grown weary and mistrustful of it. It is not a dream of
motor cars and high wages merely, but a dream of social order in which
each man and each woman shall be able to attain to the fullest stature
of which they are innately capable, and be recognized by others for
what they are, regardless of the fortuitous circumstances of birth or
position."

While he doesn't specifically mention sharing and generosity, it seems to be implied. If life is going to be 'better and richer and fuller for everyone", then everyone needs to have fair access to resources - education, healthcare, housing. . . and for this to happen there needs to be a fair balance between the needs of the individual and the needs of the community.

For all Americans to achieve the American Dream, it seems obvious that there is a need for a fair system of wealth distribution. Not only in America, but globally, people need to be asking themselves how much is enough? We need to be considering the difference between personal financial security and hoarding wealth. And we need to think long an hard about the ethics of pursuing our own financial advancement at the expense of others.

Quite frankly Joe the Plumber, you do need to share with others. Given that people in your enviable position are obviously not doing this of their own accord, maybe it is time for the American Government to step in and force the issue.

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5 Reasons to embrace the F-word

Image via Wikipedia Forgiveness isn't something that gets a lot of air time in the popular press. In fact, its often treated as an oddity, something to be admired in others but not necessarily practised by your average individual.

A growing field of research, however, is finding that forgiveness is an important process for us all to embrace as part of our everyday life.

“Why is compassion so important? Someone must take the initiative to move beyond the cycle of old choices and responses that brings more pain and suffering and recognize the opportunity for a healing response to life itself. This is also true of the forgiveness that results from a compassionate heart. Today we face many problems, and the time has come for us to think on a deeper human level where we understand and respect the humanness of everyone. Though we might regard someone as an enemy, this enemy is also a human being who is trapped by his or her own demons and who has a right to happiness.”
—His Holiness, The Dalai Lama

If this isn't enough to convince you, take a look at these 5 reasons to forgive those who done you wrong:

1. Its good for you
Forgiveness can contribute to your health and happiness. It lowers blood pressure and reduces stress. It reduces depression and anxiety symptoms.

2. Its good for your relationships
If you make forgiveness a part of your life, you will become less hostile and more hopeful. You are likely to attract more friends, and have better relationships. Forgiveness is one of the foundations of a long lasting, healthy marriage/partnership and a strong, happy, loving family.

3. It makes you a stronger person
Forgiveness is not easy. It is not a sign of weakness, but a sign of great personal strength. By choosing not to forgive, you choose to remain the victim. By forgiving, you are not condoning the offense or hurt, or even reconciling with the person who hurt you. What you are doing is freeing yourself to move on past the pain and resentment.

4. Its an opportunity for transformation
Forgiveness allows individuals and whole nations to heal. It reduces hostility and ends emotional and mental anguish. It can stop the cycle of hatred and hurt that stymies efforts for peace.

5. Holding grudges is like eating rat poison and waiting for the rat to die
In other words its painful, unpleasant, takes up a lot of energy and is essentially pointless. By letting go, you free up all that energy and can focus it on more positive pursuits as you continue your life's journey.

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5 Ideas to Help You say "Enough"

Image via WikipediaThe idea that we must constantly be striving to obtain more possessions is at the core of any capitalist democracy - and, by the looks of things, at least one large 'communist' dictatorship. Its an idea that society has embraced without question, and without regard to the true cost.

These days most people in developed nations work longer than they did some 50 years ago. We have less leisure time and spend less time with our families. We are deeper in debt than ever before and less connected with our neighbourhoods. And these are just some of the social costs.

The environment is also suffering from an economic system based on constant growth. We are drowning in rubbish, destroying pristine environments, and chasing species after species down to extinction.

Isn't it time someone said "ENOUGH!"?

If you want to help us all get out of the rat race here's some ideas to help you find what is enough for you:

1. Ask the big questions
Socrates, by all accounts, used to upset his fellow citizens by asking them to analyse the obvious and think deeply about widely held assumptions. Try challenging yourself with the following questions (and any others that you come up with):
What do I need to live a comfortable life?
What is the difference between financial security & hoarding wealth?
Who would I be without my possessions?
Is my financial security attained at the expense of others?
Does having more stuff make me happier?

Feel free to share you answers with us in the comments section.

2. Try GivingMany of us a so scared about losing our 'stuff' that we protect it at all costs. But if you really want to attract more abundance into your life try giving things away. Sign up for the 29-Day Giving Challenge and give one thing away every day for 29 days. Who knows what you'll find yourself giving away.

3. Go WithoutGive the credit cards a rest and indulge in a week without buying anything but the essentials. Sometimes less really is more - or at least enough!

4. Take StockMake an inventory of everything you own. How much of it do you actually use? How much of it do you owe money on? How much of it did you not even know you had? What things are actually essential items that you use regularly? What things would make you feel worse off if you no longer had them?

5. Be Grateful
Take the time to be thankful for the things you do have - and not just your physical possessions. Remember to value the things money can't buy. Often the very act of being grateful can help you realise what is important to you.

Who are you?

Image by
stilllearninghowtofly - W W Tribe Psychiatrist
via Flickr How do you want to make a difference?

If you know you want to do something, but find it difficult to answer that question, it could be that you need to sit down and think about what is important to you.

Having a clearly defined set of values can energise you to achieve great things. They will help you to set goals that really resonate with you and say no to goals that aren't yours - you know the ones, the 'I really should . . .' sort of goals that are so hard to get motivated to achieve.

If you have a clear understanding of your core values you will be better able to avoid making reactionary decisions based on other peoples expectations, or your own mood at the time. Instead you can be true to yourself.

When you know who you are you can be clear about the standards of behaviour you expect from yourself and others. It helps you to set boundries and to say 'No' to people, situations and things that don't fit with your values.

There is also an incredible feeling of peace and fulfillment that comes with knowing yourself and being able to make decisions from a clearly defined 'centre'. You are propelled forward toward your goals and you attract people with similar values.

"Sounds great" You say . . . "But how do I find out my core values?"

First of all, schedule in some quiet time to really think about what matters to you. Then print out the Identifying your values workbook from SynergyInstitute.com and work through the steps.

Go for it!!!

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5 Ways to Simplify Your Life

Image via Wikipedia Life can get so complicated. We work 40 hours a week (or more!), we have families and friends to spend time with, wherever we go we are contactable by phone, IM, email, skype, twitter and even old fashioned paper mail (which is usually bills these days!!), then there's TV, Radio, Billboard advertising or some other media bombarding us with (mis)information wherever we go. Sometimes its hard to find time to remember to just breathe . . .

If its all getting a bit much for you, then it could be time to simplify your life. Time to cut the clutter and work on what really matters to you. So take a look at the list below an start paring your life back to the important stuff!

1. What is the important stuff for you?
What do you value most? What do you want to do in your life? Make a list of the 4 or 5 most important things to you. These are the things you want to simplify your life for, the things you want to have more time to do.

2. Practise saying 'NO'
If you don't learn to say the N-word, then you will never simplify your life. If it doesn't fit into your 'Important Stuff' list than say 'NO' . . . and mean it!

3. Slow down
Life isn't a race. Don't get caught up in the speed of modern day living. Take the time to enjoy the moment. Drive slowly - its safer and less stressful. Savour your food - you will tend to eat less and enjoy mealtimes more. Listen - don't hurry conversations along by planning your next move instead of listening with your full attention.

4. Decide what is enough
We are constantly being told we need to have more, to buy more. If you really want to live a more simple life you need to decide how much is enough. Its much easier to declutter your posessions and your schedule once you know what enough is for you.

5. Spend time doing what you love
If you prioritise your time to do the things that you love, you'll find that your days become less hectic and more pleasurable. Sure, you still have to do the dishes and pay the bills . . .

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